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16 Police Officers Comments

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Hat Tip To Odie.

 

 

These are actual comments made by 16 Police Officers
The comments were taken off actual police car videos 
around the country:

1. “You know, stop lights don’t come any redder than the 
one you just went through.”

2. “Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. 
They’ll stretch after you wear them a while.”

3. “If you take your hands off the car, I’ll make your 
birth certificate a worthless document.”

4. “If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired.”

5. “Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? 
Because that’s the speed of the bullet that’ll be 
chasing you.”(LOVE IT)

6. “You don’t know how fast you were going? I 
guess that means I can write anything I want to 
on the ticket, huh?”(MY FAVORITE)

7. “Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but 
I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I’m 
the shift supervisor?”

8. “Warning! You want a warning? O.K, I’m warning 
you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket.”

9. “The answer to this last question will determine 
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat 
or a dog?”

10. “Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place 
where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy and corn 
dogs and step in monkey poop.”

11. “Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my 
wife gets a toaster oven.”

12. “In God we trust; all others we run through NCIC.”
( National Crime Information Center )

13. “Just how big were those ‘two beers’ you say you had?”

14. “No sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to, but 
now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we can.”

15. “I’m glad to hear that the Chief (of Police) is a personal 
friend of yours. So you know someone who can post your bail.”

AND THE WINNER IS….
16. “You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? 

You’re right, we don’t.. Sign here.”

 

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Who Am I?

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A Big hat Tip To Dr. Jim over at Every Blade Of Grass.

 

I’m sure this has been floating around the Web, but it’s the first time I’ve seen it.

I was born in one country, raised in another. My father was born in another country.

I was not his only child. He fathered several children with numerous women.

I became very close to my mother, as my father showed no interest in me.

My mother died at an early age from cancer.

Although my father deserted me and my mother raised me, I later wrote a book idolizing my father not my mother.

Later in life, questions arose over my real name. My birth records were sketchy.

No one was able to produce a legitimate, reliable birth certificate.

I grew up practicing one faith but converted to Christianity, as it was widely accepted in my new country, but I practiced non-traditional beliefs and didn’t follow Christianity, except in the public eye under scrutiny.

I worked and lived among lower-class people as a young adult, disguising myself as someone who really cared about them.

That was before I decided it was time to get serious about my life and embarked on a new career.

I wrote a book about my struggles growing up.

It was clear to those who read my memoirs, that I had difficulties accepting that my father abandoned me as a child.

I became active in local politics in my 30’s then, with help behind the scenes,

I literally burst onto the scene as a candidate for national office in my 40s.

They said I had a golden tongue and could talk anyone into anything.

I had a virtually non-existent resume, little work history, and no experience in leading a single organization.

Yet I was a powerful speaker and citizens were drawn to me, as though I were a magnet and they were small roofing tacks. I drew incredibly large crowds during my public appearances. This bolstered my ego.

At first, my political campaign focused on my country’s foreign policy.

I was very critical of my country in the last war, and seized every opportunity to bash my country.

But what launched my rise to national prominence were my views on the country’s economy.

I pretended to have a really good plan on how we could do better, and every poor person would be fed and housed for free. I knew which group was responsible for getting us into this mess.

It was the free market, banks and corporations.

I decided to start making citizens hate them and, if they became envious of others who did well, the plan was clinched tight.

I called mine “A People’s Campaign.” That sounded good to all people.

I was the surprise candidate because I emerged from outside the traditional path of politics and was able to gain widespread popular support.

I knew that, if I merely offered the people ‘hope,’ together we could change our country and the world.

So, I started to make my speeches sound like they were on behalf of the downtrodden, poor, ignorant, to include “persecuted minorities”.

My true views were not widely known and I kept them unknown, until after I became my nation’s leader.

I had to carefully guard reality, as anybody could have easily found out what I really believed, if they had simply read my writings and examined those people I associated with. I’m glad they didn’t.

Then I became the most powerful man in the world. And then the world learned the truth.

Who am I?

ADOLPH HITLER

If you were thinking of SOMEONE ELSE, you should be scared, very scared!

 

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